Courage

I can't explain how blessed I feel right now. Being with Vic is like honeymoon all over again. I'm not bored or tired of being with him. Times spent with him pass by so fast and feel so short. I can walk for 2 mrt stops with him and yet it felt like 5 minutes only. When we actually chatted up for an hour during the walk. (Bet we burned hellva lots of calories that day)

I remember every moment we spent together, notice every little thing he does and the things he didn't do. Sure, every couple has their fall outs. No doubt Vic and I went through a rough patch too. But it was the first time I faced up to things. I didn't have to run away or hide anymore. I really fought against my nature this time for Vic. Because he's worth it. I told myself to be more understanding and honest about everything with him. And things started to work out. He made me feel safe, and protected. I've finally found my shelter. Ever since initial d left me all wrecked, I never thought I could find my happiness again. Until Vic came along. The amount of happiness I feel right now is unmeasurable and limitless. Thank you God for this wonderful gift. From the bottom of my heart, thank you.

I really hope I'm not being selfish or greedy to ask for this one last favor. But, dear Father, will you please make this paranoia go away? I need assurance. I need closure. I need your enlightenment. Please. In Jesus' heavenly name I pray with all my heart, amen.

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 Thank you Father, for everything. Faith, trust, and hope. There's something I can believe in again. I can feel your love and blessings, and I will not take them for granted. I'm kicking away my bad habits, washing away my sins to not let you down. Hope it's a great start to something even more. I love you.

Dear God

Please make things alright.

Guitar pick and polariods

I'm useless. All I could do is wait for news and dwell on how useless I am for not being there with you. I want to be there, and take care of you so badly. Only if I can be there for you to hold onto, to make you feel better. Please get well soon Vic. I pray every now and then, just to see your smile again. I miss you.

Dear Father, please give Vic strength to pull through this. Please bless him with your love and care, and bring him speedy recovery. I'm willing to give up my sins, just to make him feel better. Please Lord, help me. In Jesus' heavenly name, I pray. Amen.

The Unexplored

The past 2 days has really been eye-opening. BAmazing Race 8 Day 1 was really well planned and tiring. My team was pretty much worn out from all the battle scars during the race (The boys cut their legs from some thorns in the bushes) and we landed in 8th position out of 27 teams. Day 2 was less physical and tougher with the challenges. Almost everyone just took the penalties cus we can't complete the task. My team jumped from 11th position to 3rd position at the final station. (WOOOOO) Thanks to our alliance who made it 1st, for providing with us the major clue. It was a really unexpected win because we literally walked and took the lift (bunch of lazy asses we are). Even the team who sprinted to the final checkpoint wasn't able to make it. So, hell yeah man! We've completed BAmazing 8!!! Awesome experience, must fight for another chance to compete next year!

Time check: 2:29AM

Gotta wake up at 5:30AM and leave at 5:45 for iDare tomorrow! 3 hours of sleep starts...... now.

Getaway

It's been awhile since I last visited Genting. Gotta love the weather there. The clouds were fogging up the whole outdoor theme park we could barely play the rides. Luckily we still managed to take the rides in the end. Another spark of the trip was the magic show - Superstars of Magic 2 which consists of:

"The World’s Greatest Escape Artist” – Dean Gunnarson
“The Great Illusionists” – JC Sum and ‘Magic Babe’ Ning
The “World’s Best Variety Act” – Charlie Frye & Co.
 “Europe’s Best Pickpocket Artist” - Christian Lindemann
 “Stage Comedy Magician of the Year” – Chipper Lowell
 “France’s Card Manipulation Champion” – Nestor Hato
The “World’s Best Quick Change Act” – Sos and Victoria Petrosyan
 “The World’s Youngest Manipulation Artists” – Sos and Tigran Junior

With Christian Lindemann and Nestor Hato

 The magic show was just fantastic. Some of my favourite magicians are Christian Lindemann & Sos and Victoria Petrosyan. They just leave you completely astonished with their magic skills. How did Christian managed to steal so swiftly and stealthily? And how can Sos and Victoria Petrosyan change their outfits so quickly? MAGIC. (As Chipper the comedian/emcee said on stage) Dean Gunnerason is another brave magician (whom I really respect) who performed the escape from a completely locked and chained "tank'. He was underwater for 2 whole mins, handcuffed and chained, before he manged to escape out of the tank. You know it's real when you see his whole face red from holding his breath. Utter respect for his brave act.

So I'm now back onto Singapore's soil. Kinda miss Singapore, miss my wonderful friends here but definitely do not miss the weather here. Time to unpack and head to bed!

 Adios.

Hypocrite

Had a short road trip to Genting Highlands on Wednesday. It was a fun but eye-opening trip for me. Fun, cus I rode all the roller coasters, the space shot and the spinner. Eye-opening, cus I experienced the obnoxious and hypocritical attitude of my sister. Nobody's perfect, that I always tell myself. I always accept people for who they are and disregard their flaws.

But, I cannot accept it when people take this as a vulnerability and make use of me. Look sis, I'm not your fucking slave and I'm not someone you can fucking throw your temper on. Not everyone is like you, alright. I was merely commenting on the service of the Macdonalds staff crew, and you had to criticize me about picking a fight with her/him. Bloody hell. Another time is asking you to buy supper and you had to give such an angsty expression. The fuck. Whenever you asked for a favor I am willing to help. From now on, not anymore. I don't fucking owe you a living. I'm not a hypocrite like you, I won't pretend and fake a smile and accept your intolerable attitude towards me.

I don't owe you, and you don't own me.

Priceless

August charm

 How can things ever be the same again
If we hold onto our ego more than our love 

The Final Riot

Keep me safe inside
Your arms like towers
Tower over me

'Cause we are broken
What must we do to restore
Our innocence?
And oh, the promise we adored
Give us life again
'Cause we just wanna be whole

Bipolar disorder

A condition in which people go back and forth between periods of a very good or irritable mood and depression. The "mood swings" between mania and depression can be very quick.


Symptoms:
Daily low mood or sadness
Difficulty concentrating, remembering, or making decisions
Feeling worthless, hopeless, or guilty
Loss of self-esteem
Pulling away from friends or activities that were once enjoyed
Thoughts of death and suicide


:'(

Just close your eyes
The sun is going down
You'll be alright
No one can hurt you now
Come morning light
You and I'll be safe and sound