Torn

oh fuck.
Why am I in such a mess.


There's nothing where he used to lie
My inspiration has run dry
That's what's going on, nothing's right, I'm torn

I'm all out of faith, this is how I feel
I'm cold and I am shamed lying naked on the floor
Illusion never changed into something real
I'm wide awake and I can see the perfect sky is torn 

------------

 I'm fumbling, trying to gather the pieces of me which are shattered all over by those who come and go in my life. How pathetic can I get, as I desperately attempt to glue back and fix these pieces. Of what's left of me. Sometimes, I find myself completely alone. Like there's no one there to depend on. I crumbled again and again. 

But no. I will not falter. I will pick up these abandoned pieces and create an amazing being that will blow you away. Just you see. 

P.S. I really appreciate those who stayed in my life, even after all the bullshits I've been through, all the tears I've shed and all the love you guys gave me endlessly. Thank you. To those who really matter.

Cold blood

It's been one of the worst nights yet. I've decided to severe ties with my sister completely. Mainly because she's the biggest fucking selfish piece of shit I've ever come across and I'm done tolerating all of her bullshit.

The final straw was when she woke me up for just sleeping over the line that separates our beds, at fucking midnight. And calling me a lazy pig and insulting me over and over again as she always do.  I wake up at 6am every morning and sleep at 12am almost every night. Now I don't deserve to get some fucking rest? What fuckery fuck is this. You had to wake me up, and cause me to not be able to fall back asleep. Bravo. Here you go, you totally deserve the worst sister award in the whole wide world. Fuck you.

629

Hand me the morphine.

Everything is going to be alright.

Forever

Year 1, 1st Sem

 

Year 1, 2nd Sem 

Love you girls.

Change

When I went to church service last Saturday, God has guided me and showed me how to become better. Though I didn't grew up in a Christian family and went to a temple for my whole childhood life., I really believe that God's there for me. I am really glad to find the ability in my freedom to change the way I live life now. I know that the Lord will forgive me for the sins I've committed and accept me though I'm not worthy, for I'll forgive and accept those I'm acquainted with as well. God bless everyone out there.

-----

I'm trying real hard to keep this relationship from falling apart. To be honest, I'm doing things I've never done before in any of my past relationships. Just because I love Vic, so much. But he always get upset over the very thing that has been straining our relationship all these while, texting. You see, I'm not the most efficient texting buddy that anyone wishes for, well in fact, I'm the slowest. Vic needs assurance all the time, he needs to have me there texting him. I'm really trying. God please help me.


What do I do now?

Who am I?

I don't want to lose myself in this.

What is love?

why do you have to ruin it
why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why  why hwhy why whyw yhw hwoyh wiehcoehwthwoi hw wjeiorhgew ihwerioghewoig eig ie erg ergewrgi egiowjeje oijegjeoi gjeg oihwihtaochwoeiauaefheijpqcjpop[


Im so so so sick of it. Everything is all boiled and bottled up, I just wanna erupt anytime. I can feel this falling apart. Why can't you just believe in me.............................






















fuck.

Happy birthday Vic

Am so glad the birthday celebration and mascots chalet was a success. Love you Vic.

I love my girls J & L above anything else. Can always talk to them about anything.
So blessed to have them. <3

Less than a day left for phuket!
Ciao.

J & L

It's the start of October! Hope things will sail smoothly in this month! :) 2 more weeks till school start! Looking forward to start of new sem but can't deny I hate to part with the holidays... Definitely can't wait for vic's birthday and phuket! Really need to enjoy myself then!

I miss my girls. Where are you girls? (girls, girls, girls....) [echos]
Hoping the three of us can finally get together and hang out! Maybe after vic's birthday, phuket...?

My skin complexion needs to get better..... and my eyebrow needs to grow. ARGH.

On a side note, can't wait to "bake" for my loved ones! Ash can't bake very well, and it's usually a hassle to bake. When I decide to bake, it's usually for the ones I love :)

Looking forward to these!