Wasted

Wait. Time, just stop right there.



What the fuck is going on in my life? I was starting to pick myself up and move on.
After everything that happened, I was stronger than before. Everything was brighter.

And now, I'm back to square one. Darkness all over again.
Fuck you. Yes fuck you very much.
 Thanks for screwing me and breaking me into pieces again.

I've to pick up my pieces, and build myself back up again.




Sometimes, I wonder how long can I last.
After so many screw-ups, I'm already so numb.
I don't want to care, because if I do, all I feel is pain.

sigh.


"hey little fighter, soon it'll all be brighter."

Calling (Lose my mind)

Can we freeze karma and surrender our rights and wrongs 

Can we just for a night let the stars decide where we belong 

Maybe heaven right now is a devil or angel away 

That won't change 

Together we vow that our colors will sparkle the faith

Miracles

Things seem so much clearer nowadays. I went to Church on Saturday and spoke to God. And He replied. He gave me so much more direction to go from here onwards. I feel that I have a connection to Him, a relationship I've always needed. Now I can see better and move on in the right course of my life, because I'm keeping faith in Him. Here, I'd like to share with you how God touched my heart.


 I believe that many of us here tend to forget things, be it keys, wallet, phone or turning on the heater before you head into the shower. (yes that always happens to me) We all have this problem of forgetting things, and it always costs us something small or big.

Now the question is, what happens when you forget about God.
In fact, it costs us the most when we all forget about God.

When I first started walking down this road with God, I didn't know what to expect. Angels to descend from above? (Ok I'm kidding) But God is actually always there for me unconditionally, and I find myself always leaning on him for advice and help. Then it hit me. Why do I always sin and let God down over and over again. Whenever I forget about God, I give in to my idolatries and sin. After all that He has done for me...


Bless the Lord, O my soul,
and forget not all his benefits. 
- Psalms 103:2

I remind myself every now and then. Don't forget God. I hope you do too.


The next part of this sharing is about faith.

At times of distress, we all fear and panic. If a storm is about to hit your place tonight, it's no doubt we will all naturally feel anxious, worried and scared. But even at times like this, have faith in God.


As stated in Matthew 8:24-27,

Suddenly a furious storm came up on the lake, so that the waves swept over the boat. But Jesus was sleeping. The disciples went and woke him, saying, “Lord, save us! We’re going to drown!” He replied, “You of little faith, why are you so afraid?” Then he got up and rebuked the winds and the waves, and it was completely calm. The men were amazed and asked, “What kind of man is this? Even the winds and the waves obey him!”


Now do not be afraid, because God is with you. But this doesn't mean that everything will be smooth-sailing in your life. This means, that God is with you, every step of the way to encounter your problems. 

So have faith, not fear.

---------

Lost

 

 

Sometimes, I feel like losing myself. Just go wild and never look back. Cigarettes, alcohol, sex. These seem to be able to fill the emptiness in my heart for that moment. But honestly, I know it will not last. My past has gave me a huge spank and taught me a lesson I will not forget. That's why I'm fighting back. Or at least I'm trying to.



But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. 
They will soar on wings like eagles; 
They will run and not grow weary, 
They will walk and not be faint.
- Isaiah 40:31